It was a great night for late night -- Fallon had acting legend Robert Duvall, while Jimmy Fallon did a hilarious interview with radio host Artie Lange. Keep reading for all of the funny highlights from yesterday.
A Big Guy, with a Bigger Appetite
Former Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange stopped by Fallon's show to promote his new book, Crash and Burn. Lange seemed really comfortable being interviewed and was pretty quick to poke fun at himself. He even told a hilarious story about a run-in he recently had with a 17-year-old kid who made sure to call him, "Obese Witherspoon." The same kid also said Lange's name would be "Fat Lauer" if he ever decided to host The Today Show. Hey, he's not fat -- just big boned! Lange also talked about starting his day at 9 p.m., about an hour before he starts his daily radio show at 10 p.m. He may be rich and famous, but that doesn't mean he's not lazy! Lange's show airs weeknights on DirecTV and radio stations across the country.
He Was in The Godfather, 'Nuff Said!
Acting icon Robert Duvall did a rare interview on Kimmel's show, and probably the most surprising thing to come of it was the fact that Duvall is not from Texas. That's right, Duvall grew up in Maryland, but does love Texas-style BBQ and is, oddly enough, an honorary Texas Ranger. So there! At 83, Duvall seemed to be fairly with-it and self-deprecating in the interview. He even made fun of the fact that his wife, who's 41 years his junior, is young enough to be his granddaughter! Oh Robert, will you ever learn?
Most Biting Monologue Jokes
Move Over Mr. Ford
"In Toronto, an 18-year-old girl is running against Rob Ford in that city's mayoral election. Her campaign slogan is, 'Vote for me, I'm not a crack addict.'" (Conan)
Internet Killed the Home Video Star
"This was a little bittersweet, I saw that my man Tom Bergeron is stepping down from America's Funniest Home Videos after 13 years. Can you imagine America's Funniest Home Videos without Tom Bergeron? I mean it would be like, uh, YouTube."(The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon)
"In a new interview Shaquille O'Neal said he spends one-thousand dollars a week downloading new apps. Then again, you'd buy a lot of new apps too if your index finger was four-feet wide." (The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon)
Basic Cable Name That Tune (Conan) - Conan brought back an old bit where his house band plays a famous song that's slightly different from the original and then an audience member has to guess what it is. The highlight from this gag was a version of John Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane" -- with one note missing, of course. Surprisingly, the audience member had no trouble with this one. Go figure.
New Cold War (The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon) - Fallon did a topical gag on the whole U.S./Russia rift with a hilarious video for a Kickstarter page by none other than Vladimir Putin. Fallon dressed up as the Russian dictator, er President, and basically asked his 'fans' for American dollars to fund a 'New Cold War.' And what do people get for donating? How about a signed photo of 'ol Vlady riding shirtless on a horse? Yep, sounds about right.
How Do You Say Guillermo? (Jimmy Kimmel Live!) - Since arriving in Austin on Monday, Kimmel has started noticing how difficult it is for some of the locals to pronounce the name of his pint-sized sidekick, Guillermo. Hey, that sounds like a great idea for a bit, right? You betcha! Hence, Kimmel did several man-on-the-street interviews where he asked some of Austin's residents how to say Guillermo. Some of the standouts included "Gilly-air-mo," "Gilmore," and the all-time best, "Palermo." It never ceases to amaze just how stupid some people really are. It's like, seriously, where on earth do you see a p? C'mon, people!
Music Moment: Beck
Fallon had Beck perform "Waking Light" off his new album, Morning Phase, which just happens to be one of the best reviewed albums of the year. That's right, Beck is back!
Breaking Bad to the Bone
One of the strangest interviews of the night was Conan's chat with Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul. Paul must have had one two many cocktails prior to the interview -- or he was really nervous -- because a few of his answers were delayed, which in turn led to some pretty awkward moments. Thankfully, Conan's a professional and steered the interview into some more lighthearted moments, the best of which involved Paul telling a story about giving fans champagne on his front lawn. Well, that's not quite lighthearted, per se, but still pretty funny.
Set your DVRs!
Patton Oswalt on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (3/13/2014)
Lady Gaga on Jimmy Kimmel Live! (3/13/2014)